STOP THE ABUSE!

The post has been move to my
Page of Memes & Stuff ~

Click on the photo to check it out!
You'll be glad you did....

FedEx Me to my Ex

Well, I guess the up-side to spending three weeks trapped in P.O. Box HELL, plus another week recovering in rehab, is that I had plenty of time to think. (When I wasn't busy fending off bra-nappers, that is!)

And in my forced state of isolation, I reflected on all that's happened to me since becoming a Traveling Bra...and most of it's been great...but I've come to the conclusion that I am still harboring some unresolved feelings (i.e. resentment) towards my "Ex" and that nasty falling out we had almost one year ago. I sure can't travel lightly if I'm hauling that old baggage around, now can I? It's high time I get this burden off my chest! So, my next stop will be my old hometown, Chico, California where I plan to take the bull by the horns and finally set things straight between us.

As I bid a nostalgic Ta-Ta (again) to Petaluma, I was thankful that my happy little Italian chaperon chose to slip me into a sturdy, trackable, fully insured FedEx envelope. I'm not dinking around with the U.S. Postal Service anymore either! Maureen, the owner of Petaluma Mail Depot, was a real hoot (as I have found is usually true with gals of the Irish persuasion.)

However, I'm not too sure what this sign on the door was referring to...but it better not have been me! I'm telling ya, I am not in the mood to be mocked right now!!! And frankly, I'm proud of my big black beautiful bodacious doubleD voluptuousness!

OK, I'll admit, I'm just a bit nervous (i.e. crabby) about this little reunion with my "Ex"....the last one being such a bust and all. I'll keep you all abreast of this situation as it develops. Until then, dear friends and loyal supporters....carry on! And don't take any crap from anyone!

~Olga, the Traveling Bra

Pass It On....

I passed this Award along to The Domestic Minx - please click on it to read the original post, which has been moved to my Page of Awards & Tokens of Affection!

Ralphie Checks Out Olga

"WHAT'S THIS!?

A Crazy Cat Lady?!

Oh, my GAWD!

The horror!!!

But wait a minute....
I think...

I smell something...

mmmmmmm....
TUNA!

Can I have some?

Purrrrrrty pleeeezzzz?"

Rehab'n in PETALUMA/The Cat House

After enduring 3 weeks of blistering heat and ungodly conditions in "P.O. BOX HELL," I just wanted to hurry up and get the blazes outta Arizona! Not that I hold anything against the Grand Canyon State mind you, but in addition to claustrophobia and cynophobia...now, I can add thermophobia to my rack of insecurities! What's a poor bra to do?!

Luckily, my quick thinking little Italian chaperon wasted no time stuffing me into her purse (thus, avoiding any possible chance of loosing me in LOST LUGGAGE HELL) and hopping onboard the next plane bound for oh-so-cool-'n-foggy Petaluma, California. (The very place from whence I sprang nearly one year ago!)

Now all I wanna do is loosen up my straps and spend a few days rehydrating and airing things out in the rejuvenating coastal breeze ..........ahhhhhhhh..........

And while I'm back in town, I'd also like to reconnect with a few old friends...like the one who just so happens to live in this cute little house......recognize it?It's the infamous Petaluma "Cat House" where several years ago, hundreds of cats were found living (or not) inside the premises! The "Crazy Cat Lady" bought the house exclusively for her cats - who proceeded live, die, pee, poop, and procreate like animals inside for 5 years before authorities discovered there was "a problem." (All the nauseating details can be found here.)

Crazy Cat Lady said, "It started with just 2 cats and all of a sudden there were 196! I know this sounds bizarre, but I am a rational person." Yeah, maybe compared to "Crazy Rat Guy!!!"...another interesting resident of my beloved P-town. Geez, if only they had hooked up together....maybe they could have worked out some sort of an arrangement. So much for appetizers. Well, here I am about to enjoy a lovely home-cooked dinner (I think it may have been tuna?) with my friends inside the completely gutted, fumigated, disinfected, and renovated "Cat House." The food and company were divine, and a wonderful evening was had by all, but still...I just couldn't help wondering....what in the hell is that cage doing over in the corner?! Did someone say...meow?

POSTCARD FROM P.O. BOX HELL

Have you ever wondered, "What happens to things that get "lost" mail?" Well, having just endured a 3-week long detainment in the Apache branch of the Tempe, Arizona Post Office, I know...and believe me, it ain't pretty! Deep inside the bowels of every United States Post Office lies the "Unclaimed Package Bin," a cleverly disguised torture chamber which I will here and forevermore refer to as "P.O. BOX HELL!"

The cramped quarters, hellish heat, and creepy dark corners make this unforgiving dungeon a particularly perilous place for any wayward traveler, but especially if you just so happen to be a black lace bra who's already trying to cope with some big-time abandonment issues, and mounting claustrophobia.

Going to P.O. BOX HELL is every letter, package and parcel's worst nightmare...and the only way out is to push and shove and hoist yourself up to the top of the heap...and then do whatever it takes to stay up there and get noticed...which, even with my vast experience in that department, I found to be a very daunting task.

My cups runnethed over with a foreboding sense of doom as I witnessed dozens of sweet little cookies, who'd been lovingly tucked into Grandmas' care-packages, turn bad in their desperate attempt to attract someone's attention. Unfortunately, it usually just turned out to be ants.

P.O. BOX HELL also houses it's share of dubious characters from the underbelly of postal society...notably, those "discreetly wrapped in plain brown paper" guys...beneath their seemingly innocent facades, lurked things I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole! And some older packages had been there for soooo long, they'd abandoned hope of ever reaching their intended destinations and just sort of mentally "checked out" instead. One old fruitcake in particular, postmarked 1942, was so far gone, he took the term "fermented" to a whole new, odiferous level.

But the icing on the cake (and several of them were stinkin' up the place too) was when, late one night, a funny little Frenchman suddenly appeared outta nowhere wearing nothing but a leprechaun's hat and a big ol' Cheshire Cat grin!

"Sacre bleu!" he exclaimed as he spied me sticking out from among the huddled mass of postal refugees. "What iz zis magnifique and bodacious brazzeeire doing in a God forsaken hell-hole such as zis?!"

With that, he clutched me to his breast, snapped a quick picture...and Voila!...vanished into thin air! Was I hallucinating? Was I loosing my mind? Was I dead? Apparently not...and I've since learned that this guy is madder than a March Hare and created the whole "bra-napping" thing as part of a very clever publicity stunt.
(I tip my hat to your creativity, monsieur!)

Thankfully, my daring little Italian chaperon used her well-honed FBI tracking skills to conduct a search and rescue mission...once again risking life and limb to snatch me from the jaws of eternal postal damnation, and arriving just in the nick of time too...because if I had to spend one more freakin' minute in P.O. BOX HELL, I swear to God I woulda gone postal! But don't worry, that is never ever ever EVER gonna happen...because from here on out, it's UPS or FedEx............all the way, baby!

U.S. government surveillance photo of me and my intrepid little
Italian Chaperon bustin' outta the Apache branch of the
Tempe, Arizona Post Office
Signed, Sealed, and finally Delivered - I'm YOURS!

IT'S OFFICIAL...I'M BODACIOUS!

Here is the very first Award ever given to me by a blogger-friend ~ thanks jOolz! Please click HERE to read to original post, and/or visit my Big Ol' Bodacious TROPHY ROOM to gaze upon it's bodaciousness!

MADHATTER robber EXPOSED!

Take a LOOK at what our daring and tenacious little Italian Sherlock uncovered today while hotly pursuing The Naked Madhatter...(who is remaining suspiciously quiet, I might add.) Coinkidink? Or is there more to Olga, the Traveling Bra's thwarted journey to Arizona than meets the eye? Stay tuned...more shall be revealed...

BRA-NAPPED?!

THIS JUST IN!

This rather disturbing photo arrived via email this morning,

from some scoundrel calling himself...The Naked Madhatter.

Details are sketchy at this time, but local authorities and one very determined little Italian are arriving on the scene at this very moment to followup on this strange turn of events. Stay tuned!

(Olga still looks rather captivating though, doesn't she?)

TAG...I'M IT!

This post has been moved to my Page of Memes & Other Fun Stuff ~

CLICK HERE to read my response the meme: 8 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME!

SAY IT ISN'T SO!

Yes, Olga, the Traveling Bra seems to have

taken a wrong turn somewhere on her way from Nevada to Arizona...unfortunately her whereabouts are still unknown at this time. But don't despair, we've rounded up the posse and are sending out a search party! Hang in there Olga...

help is on the way!

VIVE LA OLGA, THE TRAVELING BRA!

To reveal the incredible story behind this picture, click on it!

(Thanks LOBO!)

DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE!

My blog just had it's 1,000th visitor! (& counting...)
That's about 999 more than I ever dreamed possible when I first stepped out of my comfort zone and onto the open road! I'll admit, I felt pretty insecure about traveling all around by myself...with no visible means of support...and I really wondered if the world was ready to embrace a liberated, straight-talking, globe-trotting bra such as moi?
Well, apparently it is...and you have...
and my cups runneth over with gratitude!

To celebrate this momentous occasion, my chaperon broke out the good stuff! I spent a very memorable evening snuggling up with someone special and an alluring vintage 1958 KJ, reminiscing about the past and marveling at how far we've traveled together! This I now know is true;
The best things in life ~ are not things at all...
and are definitely worth waiting for.